Since I’ve become a parent I’ve really started thinking about how the behaviors of parents may affect their kids. It’s interesting to me to take a look back on my experiences and view them from both a kid and a parent perspective. As a former kid, and a new parent, I wanted to write some thoughts down before I completely lose sight of what being a kid feels like…..- There is a limit to how much of a jerk you can be to your kids – eventually they will stop respecting you.
- Above all else, always make sure that your kids know how much you love them and that you will always be there for them. Even if they disagree with your decisions that may affect them, at least they will feel secure in the fact that they were made with their best interest at heart.
- Along with the above item – always tell your kids you love them and hug them as much as you can. You never know when it will be the last time you are able to do this.
- Always support your kids when they are trying to better themselves. Even if their decisions hurt (like moving 3,000 miles away), they will be grateful that they had you behind them.
- Parents – never let resentment towards each other get in the way of being present for important events in your kids’ lives.
- TALK TO YOUR KIDS. I’m not suggesting taking the “friend” role here but being open and honest and letting your kids know they can come to you with anything is important.
- R-E-S-P-E-C-T. No matter how upset you get with your kids – they deserve to be treated with respect. Think about your actions before you actually act. Kids remember A LOT.
- Remember that just because you are their parent, it doesn’t give you a free pass to act however you please and expect that they will still want you in their lives. They have limits.
- Always say you’re sorry.
- Be a champion for your kids. Fight for them and their well-being. If someone isn’t treating them right, step in and help. If they are headed down a destructive path, try to steer them in another direction.
- Spend time with them. Just BE with them. Being on my own a lot of the time with Jack, the preparations for the next day are just endless and I just want to get them done as quickly as possible. However, now that Jack is more mobile, he is not content sitting around while I do that. He forces me to spend time and play with him. And for that I am grateful.
This is obviously not a comprehensive list and I know that you can’t be perfect all of the time and there will inevitably be things that I will do that Jack will remember or feel bad about in the years to come. However, I am confident that as long as he knows how much his father and I love him and that he can talk to us about his feelings we will have a successful relationship. Luckily, I have at least one parent who was a positive role model and for that I am thankful!
